Are you pharmiscuous? Take our quiz!

The general public is blessed to have Cosmo quizzes and their ilk, but medical magazines seem oddly uninterested in publishing similar fare. I remedy this problem with the following quiz, “Are you pharmiscuous?” Pharmiscuity is characterised by eagerly assuming multiple, casually indiscriminate financial relationships with industry.

• 1. A local pharma representative drops by your office and asks to talk to you for 10 minutes about a new blood pressure drug. You:

  • a) Hide. Tell your secretary to pretend you’re running an hour late even though several of your patients haven’t turned up and you’re secretly checking your stocks.

  • b) Tell the rep to make a short appointment at a time convenient for you—there’s no need to be rude and you’ll hear them out.

  • c) Steve is here? Send him in! Did he bring those croissants I like?

• 2. A drug company is recruiting patients to test a new diabetes drug and asks your clinic to be an enrollment site. You will be paid handsomely for each patient you conscript. You:

  • a) Ask to see the full research protocol and spend a masochistic evening critically appraising it before …