Good relations
BMJ 2005; 330 doi: https://doi.org/10.1136/sbmj.050136 (Published 01 January 2005) Cite this as: BMJ 2005;330:050136
- Julie Sladden, freelance medical jpurnalist1
- 1Leicester
Many of us will have to face the ordeal of having a close relative in hospital. This is not pleasant for anyone and being medically trained can sometimes make the experience more difficult, rather than easier. How can you be a “good” relative without being, and being labelled, a “problem” or “interfering” relative? Should we ignore our medical training when we see our relative's care being compromised? How do we strike a balance between our head knowledge and our heart? There will always be a dilemma--but there are a few things you can do to help make the experience a more positive one.
Boundaries
The guidelines are clear. The GMC says that “Doctors should avoid treating themselves or close family members wherever possible”,1 and advice from the BMA ethics department states that “There are clearly some cases, such as in emergencies, in which such action would be reasonable, but as a general rule it should be avoided. A confusion of roles can develop and doctors can find it hard to keep the right emotional distance.”2
These guidelines are logical and understandable. However, things are not always so clear cut. Sometimes being a relative makes you part of the “care package”, for example, with children, when your relative is elderly and infirm, or when there are language barriers. There is also a world of difference between treating your relative and using your skills in observation, communication, and advocacy to promote their care.
Pros
There are quite a few advantages of being a “medical” relative. Firstly, you have the privilege of knowing your relative well. This may make it easier for you to spot small changes in their physical and mental wellbeing that might otherwise go unnoticed. …
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