The unkindest cut

I was mugged a few months ago in Dublin. I was taking a short cut through the park late at night when someone came running up from behind and threw a punch at me. In dodging, I slipped and fell and got my new linen Hugo Boss jacket all muddy, which was a real drag.

My attacker, wearing the mandatory balaclava, then gave the traditional mugger's greeting, “Give me your money or I'll kill you,” and grabbed the …