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You're not going to give me the umbrella, are you?

BMJ 2006; 333 doi: https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.39043.717245.F7 (Published 21 December 2006) Cite this as: BMJ 2006;333:1287

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Origins of the myth

This myth may have its origins in the dark days of war. The author
John O'Grady, in his book "The Things They Do To You", described a
venereal disease lecture given to troops by a Medical Officer in WWII. The
M.O. took a variation on the usual path, choosing to concentrate on the
treatment sufferers might expect.

He produced a set of 'Lister sounds', described as long metal rods
with slightly bulbous tips. The procedure described to the troops, while
showing them the rods one by one, was that the narrowest of these was
inserted into the urethra to dilate it along its length. It was then
withdrawn, and a slight thicker one inserted, to dilate the urethra a
fraction more.

This continued, said the M.O., until the thickest, about the size of
a forefinger, had been employed. By this time, the troops were shocked and
amazed, but certainly quiet and attentive.

"Having dilated the urethra to this size", said the M.O., "we can now
begin the treatment. Anyone want to hear about the treatment?"

Apparently, no-one did. Apparently, no-one got V.D., either.

We can only speculate on how many versions of this lecture were
circulated by inventive M.O.s in the name of preventive medicine. Perhaps
it's their legacy that lives today.

Competing interests:
None declared

Competing interests: No competing interests

22 December 2006
Greg Gurrin
Adminstration
Bundaberg Base Hospital, Bundaberg Qld 4670 Australia