Conference call

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It’s 2:20 am and I’m lying prone, wide awake, which is distinctly unusual. Of course 2:20 am Eastern Standard Time is 7:20 am British Summer Time, my usual waking hour. I’m in the US Midwest city of Chicago for the biggest gastroenterology conference in the world, which is appropriately entitled “digestive diseases week.”

The thought of 20 000 gastroenterologists in one place is usually enough to induce a little trepidation into most right minded people: many gastroenterologists, being largely a classically educated bunch, have enthusiastically adapted a Socratic axiom to fit more with modern times espousing that “the unexamined colon is not worth having.”

The conference is so big that it has its own daily newspaper published in English, Spanish, and Japanese, and my old consultant complained that he felt short of breath just going from the front door of the conference centre to the lecture theatre.

But, to borrow another axiom, is bigger better? The answer is a resounding yes. Unfortunately, conferences are becoming increasingly controversial. Think of the carbon footprint. Think of the waste. Everything is electronic now anyway, available neatly as pdf files and movie clips.

But it’s not the same. There is a reason that business people and politicians travel to meet their counterparts when it really matters. No matter how good the technology, a meeting on Skype has an entirely different and much less satisfactory feel. And if you don’t believe me, have a look at your own local video linked multidisciplinary meeting, in which attendees are likely often to resort to sign language and which makes everyone look like offenders on Crimewatch.

If only if it were not so. Who really enjoys the experience of turning right after entering the aircraft door, only to look left and catch a fleeting glimpse of the consultant waving a salutatory hello while sipping champagne? Or the leg pain after eight hours in a cramped seat and the careful calf palpation that ensues to confirm the self made (and inevitably wrong) diagnosis of deep venous thrombosis?

But in spite of the discomfort, the cost, and the inconvenience, thousands of people from all over the world do still perceive some usefulness in attending and meeting their colleagues and hearing about the latest advances in their chosen disciplines.

In some ways, and this may sound strange, all this can even be fun. An escape from the daily toil of clinics and ward rounds for a few days is a welcome change of scene. Nevertheless, many would class sitting in lectures in a vibrant foreign city on subjects as diverse as irritable bowel syndrome and intracellular messengers in inflammatory bowel disease as true dedication. And of course that slice of famous Chicago pizza pie is well deserved afterwards.