“Is it smart or casual?” asked Spouse, with a palpable lack of enthusiasm.

“I’m going in what I’m wearing. Surely if it was pyjamas and dressing gowns they’d have said so on the invitation?”

“If we get there early we can probably slope off around 11 pm. Let’s take that bottle of red. Nobody will know it came from us.”

We rang the bell and were greeted by Sandra with three kisses each (left cheek, right cheek, and directly on the lips), as per the guideline. Spouse stiffened (he’s never gone for …