Great Toe of This Assembly

doi:10.1136/bmj.332.7537.371-a

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Liam Farrell, general practitioner

Crossmaglen, County Armagh

Referring to yourself in the third person usually signifies an unpleasantly inflated ego—for example, “The Lady's not for turning.” But I can do better, with echoes of the politically incorrect “Liver in ward 3.”

It was a cold winter's night, and the wind was moaning through the eaves like a patient having an ingrown toenail removed who has been given too little local anaesthetic (come on, haven't we all done it?), the kind of night when …