You are a general practice locum and need to fix an outpatient assessment for Mrs Smith's bronchitis. The receptionist mentions that before you organise the assessment you need to book certain tests that vary according to which chest physician you refer Mrs Smith to. The receptionist does not know the names of local chest physicians nor their investigation preferences. You spend 15 minutes trying to call the chest clinic in the nearest hospital before discovering it moved six weeks ago to another site 15 miles (24 km) away. Your phone is not cleared for long distance calls, and the practice manager is not around, so you wait to use a colleague's phone. Mrs Smith takes umbrage at the delay and walks out while shouting across the waiting room, “Call yourself a doctor. You don't even know what goes on in the hospitals round here.”