Towards A Better Human

The mark 2 human genome: a word of advice from us down here

BMJ 1995; 311 doi: https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.311.7021.1669 (Published 23 December 1995) Cite this as: BMJ 1995;311:1669
  1. J D Gillies, consultant paediatrician Department of Paediatrics, University of Western Australiaa,
  2. P N Le Souef, associate professora
  1. aAnglesea Clinic, PO Box 228, Hamilton, New Zealand
  1. Correspondence to: Dr Gillies. email: jgill@wave.co.nz

    The present human form is the first draft of a cosmic design. Our concern is that the Designer has derived such amusement from us that He may not proceed further towards perfection.

    First models always are defective and improvement is expected in mark 2 versions. The present human is riddled with design errors resulting perhaps from undue haste to get the monkey out of us. This is nothing compared with the camel, of course, which is clearly a prototype raced into production. The following is respectfully submitted for consideration by the Almighty in the mark 2 human genome.

    Birth

    First children have a higher morbidity than subsequent infants. The second child has the lowest risk and should be born first. This would ensure that parents have more experience since this is their second child, and the risk of frustration-induced child abuse would fall. Possibly children should be born to their grandparents, who have time, experience, patience, and often the wealth required.

    Hair

    Hair was necessary for protection of the cave man, but now it has been relegated to an art form—serving no function. The more genetically advanced amongst us already lose our hair. Infants are born bald but our Creator has allowed later development of this useless material. We should be bald throughout life.

    Brain

    Humans have a big brain, which has made our head too large, and we look silly beside an emu. Imagine an architect or engineer designing a heavy controlling unit linked to the main functioning area by a flexible, exposed, and poorly supported device like our neck. Nobody would accept it. Our suggestion encompasses the following principles. The controlling unit (head and brain) should be located within the chest providing added protection and a central location which would reduce nerve connection failures. The eyes should be like those of …

    View Full Text

    Sign in

    Log in through your institution

    Free trial

    Register for a free trial to thebmj.com to receive unlimited access to all content on thebmj.com for 14 days.
    Sign up for a free trial

    Subscribe