The appendix in bed four ..

Greenhalgh,” my mother is found of saying, “is pronounced as if the last ‘g' were an ‘s.'”

Except that it isn't. Most people pronounce it as if the last “h” were an “e,” but I have been known to answer to a second syllable of hock, ink, grass, ugh, and blah. I married a Macfarlane, who brought with him the option of being misclassified with the MacFarlands, McFarlens, and Mcfaydens, so I have soldiered on with the devil I know. A medical direct mail organisation, which once rained junk mail on a non-existent Dr Mrcgp, has fused me with my first degree (Greenhaba) and honoured …