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Heal thyself?

BMJ 1994; 308 doi: https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.308.6932.863 (Published 26 March 1994) Cite this as: BMJ 1994;308:863
  1. Emma L S Dexter

    Emma L S Dexter

    My father died while we were on our honeymoon. This was not surprising - he was too ill to come to our wedding and we visited him at the hospice on the way to the reception. As we left I remarked to my husband that it was the last time I would see my father. I was right.

    We returned from a secret honeymoon to a somewhat Pythonesque funeral. There were most of the friends who had seen us off two weeks earlier. “Hello again.... Yes we had a lovely time.... we went to Yugoslavia.... No it wasn't too not.... Thank you for coming.” The crematorium service was standing room only, full of people I didn't know, who had come to say goodbye to someone I began to feel I had not known either. I was so confused I ended Up shaking hands with mourners from the following funeral party.

    I don't think the surreal element has ever gone from my father's death as it was not at all what I had imagined. But my bewilderment distilled into a single emotion at a single moment. I was at a …

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