Rapid Responses to:

EDITORIALS: Duncan Keeley Telling children about a parent's cancer BMJ 2000; 321: 462-463 [Full text]

Rapid Responses: Submit a response to this article

Rapid Responses published:

Not knowing

Fiona Wallace   (30 August 2000)

There is help out there

MaryAnn Pimental   (2 September 2000)

Not knowing 30 August 2000
Fiona Wallace, Senior Medical Officer North West Regional Hospital, Burnie, Tasmania. Send response to journal: Re: Not knowing	This article struck an instant chord, prompting my first letter to the BMJ in my professional career. Perhaps an indication of how decisions made by an adult affect a child's life. I was sixteen when my father died, of cerebral metastases from lung cancer. Over the six months of deterioration in his physical and mental state, the only explanation I was ever given was from the community nurse as he was whisked away in yet another ambulance: 'Daddy's got a nasty pain in his tummy and the doctors are going to make him better.' At the time I was studying for a selection of o-levels with the intention of applying to medical school. I reasoned for this entire period that if it was something as serious as cancer, someone would tell me. No one did, therefore things had to be all right. A child's belief in their parent's immortality cannot be underestimated, and after his death the ensuing depression and other problems, lasting over a decade is perhaps not surprising. I am lucky to be able to speak now, having at last 'got over it', a phrase so beloved of those who want children to be resilient, failing to allow them the time that we willingly give to other adults, who are so much more able to verbalise their feelings and needs. All children deserve to know the truth. Speaking from the position of the exact opposite, I think I am qualified to judge.
There is help out there 2 September 2000
MaryAnn Pimental Send response to journal: Re: There is help out there	The National Cancer Institute has a video series called when a parent has cancer produced by Innovative Training Systems. I am a 2 year breast cancer survivor and mother of a 7 and 8 year old and my family as well as several other families in the New England area was involved in the production of this video series. There are 3 tapes, one for parents, one geared towrd younger children, and one for teens. It is informative and helpful for all newly diagnosed cancer patients who have children. The National Cancer Institute could tell you how to obtain this series.