I shook my head at the cheapness of the clothes in the shopping centre and fretted over whether children halfway round the world had sweated to produce them. My daughter tugged my sleeve. “Has Britney gone bonkers?” she asked. Britney's shaved head lurched from every news stand. Tattooed and in drug rehab, what has become of one of my daughter's icons? “No, she's sick,” I replied, “and she will get better. Don't worry.”

Am I so short of ideas as to waste column space in this prestigious journal on the likes of Britney Spears, a washed-up teen diva? But …