The Scottish medical mafia are everywhere. Only warily do they include me, despite my mother having been born in Edinburgh and my having lived in Scotland since my early childhood. My English accent and my passport showing Saffron Walden as my place of birth mark me as an outsider. However, I know the important social codes. I can name Scotland's World Cup squad of 1978, I am word perfect with both Ally's Tartan Army and Flower of Scotland, I can dance at ceilidhs, recite Burns, enjoy a wee dram, and can sing the chorus …